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Recap: The Bachelorette – The Men Tell All

Recap: The Bachelorette – The Men Tell All

Emily Maynard BacheloretteI rarely find this episode of the Bach-seasons particularly interesting. It’s the top-3 elimination and the final rose episodes I covet, but this one is still entertaining.

Chris Harrison starts off the evening by taking a look at some funny footage that us viewers didn’t see.

There are plenty of choice scenes to choose from (involving many bachelor’s bums), but some memorable ones stand out…

On Emily’s date with Joe in Green Briar, she’s wearing a spectacular mermaid gown. While talking to him about enjoying their date she angles her gold-rimmed wineglass and—oops—spills white wine all over her dress. Happily, the stain came out.

An AWESOME moment was during Arie and Emily’s kiss outside of his parent’s house… Turns out, Arie’s two brothers were spying on them! Emily had no clue. I think they should have kept it too! Em and Arie already have so many kissy scenes that the show totally shouldn’t have cut the brothers out! While watching from around the corner of the house, behind some shrubs, one of the boys says “she’s a beauty!”

Despite Emily’s requests, Chris Harrison has America relive some of Bachelor-Chris’ dance moves. Emily tries to divert the attention and promises that on the After the Final Rose episode, she’ll bring her running-man-shoes and do the running man.

Promise accepted.

BRING OUT THE MEN

As Chris Harrison re-introduces all of this year’s Bachelors (save Jef and Arie), the crowd gives their cheers, or boos, of appreciation. Predictably, everyone goes crazy for Sean. Chris Harrison has a hard time getting through a couple of Sean-infused sentences, saying, “this is gonna be a long show if every time I say Sean…[crowd of women scream on cue]”

Before putting any of the guys in “the hot seat” we get to watch clips of their different interviews, and watch them watching. It’s pretty funny to see their reactions to what they themselves said, or what other’s said about them… and let’s just say that Arie’s lucky he’s in the top two (obviously), because he was always making [pretty funny] jab-jokes about the others in his interviews: “Doug is like the Hulk: ‘Doug Angry’, ‘Doug Smash’, ‘Doug Saaaad’.”* Well if racing doesn’t work out for Arie, maybe he can go into sketch-comedy?

*Humble-Doug was laughing pretty hard.

ABC was given gold to work with on the night of Ryan’s goodbye. They took Ryan’s just-been-dumped car interview and used it to voice over the guys reaction.  Ryan’s voicing over about how he made some great friendships and how he’s sure he’ll see those guys real-soon, while the remaining bachelors are cheering and congratulating themselves on his departure. At the bottom left hand corner of the screen we get to see real-time-Ryan watch, and he’s a trouper. He brushes it off with a laugh and a smile.

IN THE HOT SEAT

KALON

We get a clip of Emily finding out about Kalon’s choice words regarding Ricki, and re-watch her boot his luxury-brand-booty out of the UK. Mama-bear-fierce, that’s what she is.

Kalon says that he doesn’t regret what he says and that it was perceived the wrong way. He says that when he signed up for the Bachelorette, he (like everybody else) found out Emily’s mommy-status after being accepted onto the show. He said that he knew that that might be an issue (ABC then shows clips of him telling Em he’d be the best dad), but that at that point he was committed. He says that he thought it would have said less about his character to back out as soon as he heard she had a kid… Just in case your BS-filter isn’t worker, allow you to borrow mine: BS, BS, BS, BS!!!

Chris Harrison points out other choice rude Kalon moments with Emily, and during some ridiculous answer Joe interrupts, “Oh my God, you were here for the glitz and the glamour.” … Glad to see Joe’s filter’s on full throttle.

When C-Harrison goes to the clip of Kalon telling Emily not to speak until he’s finished, Kalon says that he’s not ashamed. “Of all the things that came out of my mouth,” he says, “I didn’t think that was the worst.” He admits that the most offensive thing that he said was “the Ricki thing.”

Sean interrupts, “I don’t have a child, I don’t need to have a child to know that’s wrong …… if you truly want to win a woman’s love… you embrace every part of her.” Sean actually had a much longer, well spoken rebuke, but I was too mesmerized by him to capture it all.

Just in case you haven’t gotten enough of scum-bag-Kalon, he’ll be on this season’s Bachelor Pad.

Continued

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